The results of a long awaited study are finally in. Many have observed this unusual phenomenon, but have typically just shrugged it off as nothing more than a mere coincidence. Well, the facts are in, and the findings have finally answered the question: “Are urinal stances somehow correlated to a man’s age?”

The study reveals that there are three main stances assumed by men while loitering in front of a urinal. These three stances are effectively referred to as the Focused, the Comfortable, and the Unashamed. As one ages, he will typically pass through all three of these stages, although in several rare cases subjects were observed to stagnate in the second stance/stage while others have progressed straight to the third from the first. The following are descriptions of each of the stances:

The Focused Stance

In this stance one stands before the urinal with a sense of purpose looking only straight ahead and occasionally glancing down assuring nothing is awry. Both hands in front of the person is the key feature of this stance. It can succinctly be described as “all business” and is usually assumed by those from the ages of adolescence through the mid to late thirties.

The Comfortable Stance

As the title suggests, this pose is more relaxed in nature and develops as one becomes more comfortable with their surroundings. The hallmark of this stance is only one hand (instead of two) in front of the person while the other hand is rested casually on the hip or haunches forming a triangle with the elbow and shoulder. The person’s eyes are usually wandering and the head will move from side to side. This stance is gradually accepted and later perfected by those in their late thirties through early sixties albeit with a greater standard deviation.

The Unashamed Stance

This stance is usually performed by the most experienced among us, although like was mentioned earlier, it has been seen in rare cases among a much younger demographic. In this stance, again one hand is in front but the other hand is found equally divided between two places. In some instances one’s elbow is rested on top of the privacy divider between urinals while in other cases the palm is placed firmly on the wall in front of the person as if to steady oneself. It also isn’t uncommon for minor audible heavy breathing or even slight groans to be heard.

Conclusion

As with most things, there are exceptions to these general stances, but now that you are aware of these recent findings, you don’t have to pass the thought over to coincidence. So how accurate are these results in your specific locale?