The idiocy of some people never ceases to amaze me. Apparently some woman in Oregon has decided that she wants to parade during the fourth of July topless (link to story). It’s ridiculous that the law would actually allow something like this (I’m looking at Ashland, OR), but even more so that someone would make it their personal quest to take advantage of it during what should be a nice family-friendly event.

I understand that some will use the whole “freedom of speech and expression” thing, but that’s no excuse for this blatant stupidity. When did we throw common sense and good taste out the window?

Now, the last thing I have to say about this is that she’s ugly, which no one wants to see in the first place. There is no doubt in my mind about this. And if this statement seems presumptuous, I’m just freely expressing my thoughts.

The results of a long awaited study are finally in. Many have observed this unusual phenomenon, but have typically just shrugged it off as nothing more than a mere coincidence. Well, the facts are in, and the findings have finally answered the question: “Are urinal stances somehow correlated to a man’s age?”

The study reveals that there are three main stances assumed by men while loitering in front of a urinal. These three stances are effectively referred to as the Focused, the Comfortable, and the Unashamed. As one ages, he will typically pass through all three of these stages, although in several rare cases subjects were observed to stagnate in the second stance/stage while others have progressed straight to the third from the first. The following are descriptions of each of the stances:

The Focused Stance

In this stance one stands before the urinal with a sense of purpose looking only straight ahead and occasionally glancing down assuring nothing is awry. Both hands in front of the person is the key feature of this stance. It can succinctly be described as “all business” and is usually assumed by those from the ages of adolescence through the mid to late thirties.

The Comfortable Stance

As the title suggests, this pose is more relaxed in nature and develops as one becomes more comfortable with their surroundings. The hallmark of this stance is only one hand (instead of two) in front of the person while the other hand is rested casually on the hip or haunches forming a triangle with the elbow and shoulder. The person’s eyes are usually wandering and the head will move from side to side. This stance is gradually accepted and later perfected by those in their late thirties through early sixties albeit with a greater standard deviation.

The Unashamed Stance

This stance is usually performed by the most experienced among us, although like was mentioned earlier, it has been seen in rare cases among a much younger demographic. In this stance, again one hand is in front but the other hand is found equally divided between two places. In some instances one’s elbow is rested on top of the privacy divider between urinals while in other cases the palm is placed firmly on the wall in front of the person as if to steady oneself. It also isn’t uncommon for minor audible heavy breathing or even slight groans to be heard.

Conclusion

As with most things, there are exceptions to these general stances, but now that you are aware of these recent findings, you don’t have to pass the thought over to coincidence. So how accurate are these results in your specific locale?

If at any point today you had the television turned to a news station, you probably were bombarded by the Congressional hearing that was going on today about steroids in baseball. This whole “drama” starred Roger Clemens who the media was infatuated with. I was actually surprised at how big Roger’s butt is being able to fit all of the reporters inside.

While I was at lunch, CNN Headline News had constant coverage of the hearings. The occasional commercial was the only interruption. It strikes me as a little odd though, that the “Headline News” channel was only talking about one supposed headline. The other observation I made was the “Breaking News” description that they had on the lower portion of the screen. They actually bothered to say that the hearing being on a 15 minute break was “breaking news”. Astonishing.

I wasn’t able to catch all too much of what was being said since I was at work (and partly because I didn’t care), but there is some apparent controversy over conflicting testimonyby Clemens himself, a trainer, and Pettitte. If you want to learn more, I’m sure you can find all you want on this day-time soap station. Maybe Britney Spears will do something crazy, like leave the house, so that the media has something meaningful and exciting to cover.

If you’re going to be a true Non-Conformist, you need to shop at Hot Topic. Not only do you need to shop there, but you will also need to hang out at the local mall regularly while making casual appearances at the Hot Topic. If you do nothing else, this will get you well on your way to being a true punk non-conformist.

Nothing shows your unique personality and flare for individualism than wearing all the same clothes as everyone else who shops at Hot Topic. You wouldn’t want to be associated with the others who choose to support the capitalist stores like the Gap and American Eagle. You’d rather spend your money at Hot Topic, which just happens to run hundreds of stores across the country including in Alaska.

You’ll want to make sure that you wear shirts with bands on them that you don’t even know, like the Ramones. Nothing is more punk than this. Make sure you also buy a lot of their accessories like anarchist patches, wristbands and metal studded belts. How are you going to show your uniqueness without a metal studded belt anyway?

Aside from all this though, you’ll want to complain as much as possible and make fun of all the kids who wear Abercrombie since they all look alike with their conformist clothes. You can’t stand how much money they have, so you spend your equally as affluent parents’ money at Hot Topic so as not to flaunt it. Honestly, who would know that your combat boots cost $150?

I was forwarded an interesting story earlier today that appeared in the Deseret Morning News. It discusses the issue of discrimination when it comes to Mormons. This has obviously become an issue because of presidential hopeful Mitt Romney.

Better Duck – If You’re a Mormon

The article talks about how Mormons are apparently fair game when it comes to making “disparaging and often erroneous statements”, when people wouldn’t dare make similar remarks about other groups. The people who think nothing of making these comments about Mormons wouldn’t dare think of expressing any bias towards women or towards the black community, or so the argument goes.

So take a look at this story and see what you think about it for yourself. What do you make of it? Is there any validity to what’s being said? I tend to agree with a lot of what is said, but I don’t think that Mormons are the only ones who are treated this way. That being said, is it really OK to discriminate based on anything?

I was able to watch the Las Vegas Bowl between Brigham Young University and UCLA. We didn’t have it on regular TV, but we were able to access espn360 and then project it onto the ceiling. I didn’t think that it would be a close game really since UCLA was playing something like their fourth string quarterback. I didn’t forget, though, that it was still BYU who is notorious for choking late in the game.

The first half went pretty much as expected with BYU scoring a couple of touchdowns and holding UCLA to a couple of field goals. It wasn’t until the final minute of the first half that BYU showed their true colors. Deep in their own territory with under a minute to play, they decide to run the ball of all things and ended up fumbling it. They should have taken a knee and gone in at half-time with a nice lead. They can’t have thought that they would score on a run from their own 10 yard line, and if they had realistic hopes of scoring, they should have thrown the ball. But BYU did what they do best and gave up a last minute touchdown.

The second half was uneventful at best. UCLA did manage to score another field goal, and the Cougars didn’t feel like scoring I guess. BYU did manage to give up a big play at the end of the game giving UCLA an easy chip shot instead of a more difficult field goal. While I’m not a fan of the prevent defense, I don’t think they should have run the blitz either. The last play of the game somehow went in BYU’s favor though. What should have been an easy field goal ended up being blocked/tipped. BYU should have lost the game in my opinion (even though I’m glad they won). And as for Bronco’s hope of gaining credibility with the BCS, it’s pretty much shot due to poor coaching.

Over the weekend I decided to join this little thing called Facebook. I had been meaning to look into it for quite a while, but just never took the time until now. I was up really late with a friend and mostly had nothing better to do. This being said, here are my initial thoughts after joining the social network:

1. The layout is much better than what I’ve seen with MySpace. I’ll admit that I haven’t messed around too much with either of these sites, but MySpace just seems rather convoluted and unorganized. Facebook is probably less customizable, but I’d rather have the cleaner look.

2. I can see how one could become a complete junky and spend/waste far too much time with the site. I’ve only been live on the site for a couple of days now, and every time I check my linked email I have new messages from people that I have to delete. With all the messaging, photo sharing, and other random applications one could get quite caught up in it all.

3. It seems like a great way to keep in touch with people and reconnect with others that you haven’t seen in a while. I’ve found a bunch of people that I haven’t heard from in years. With such easy access to friends’ profiles and contact information, I see it as a great tool for networking and the like.

4. As a follow-on to number 3, I don’t really see how some people have upwards of three or four hundred “friends”. Perhaps it’s another way to appear popular or whatever, but I hardly think that someone has hundreds and hundreds of people with whom they converse with regularly and keep in touch with.

All in all, it seems like a pretty cool thing. I don’t see myself being on it all too much, but I like the idea of being able to get in touch with people relatively quickly. We’ll see how it goes though.

There are a couple things that I am less than impressed with concerning the second game of the World Series. First of all, I am sick of the tag line for the playoffs. Not only do I have to listen to Dane Cook talk about October, others insist on using “witty” wordplay. One Boston fan at Fenway was holding up a sign that said:

There’s only one Soxtober.

I don’t think I even need to say anything about this as it should speak for itself. I was also not so excited to see Troy Aikman in the stands wearing Boston Redsox gear. As you may know, I’m a Dallas Cowboys fan, but there is definitely a conflict of interest here.

Also, am I the only one who thinks that Kevin Youkilis runs funny? You should watch him sometime and let me know what you think. And finally, for the seventh inning stretch we had to listen to Boyz II Men sing God Bless America, and they weren’t exactly on pitch with one another. Of course, I don’t really expect much better from the Red Sox organization.

I ran across this story while aimlessly browsing the internet. Apparently there is a couple suing their doctor because they had twins when they only wanted one child. Another essential piece of information is that they are lesbians who chose to have a child through an in vitro fertilisation. Apparently they made it clear to their doctor that they only wanted one child and should therefore be entitled to an exorbitant amount of money to pay for the costs of raising the second child.

As far as I’m concerned, this is outrageous and ridiculous. When people decide to have a child, they don’t really get to decide whether or not they have twins. I’m not sure why these lesbians think that they should be any different except for the fact that they’re lesbians. They should live with their choice just like everyone else.

Mostly I feel sorry for the twin girls in this whole situation. Which one of them is supposed to be the “wanted” one and the “unwanted” one, not to mention that they don’t get to grow up in a regular family environment. It’s another ridiculous example of the extremely litigious society we live in. I say get over it. You made your choice; now live with it like the rest of us.

Today marks a great day here in St Louis. Wendy’s is finally back in business. About a year ago all the Wendy’s locations in the St Louis area closed down. I believe it was because the owner of the franchises was going bankrupt, but I’m not certain. Whatever the reason though, they’re finally back.

They’re also offering a new 99 cent breakfast menu. I’m not a huge fast-food breakfast fan, but I can appreciate what they’re doing. I am glad that I’ll be able to get a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger again. And I’ll probably get a Frosty at some point. Most importantly though, I’m glad they didn’t replace the locations with some other worthless burger joint.