The idiocy of some people never ceases to amaze me. Apparently some woman in Oregon has decided that she wants to parade during the fourth of July topless (link to story). It’s ridiculous that the law would actually allow something like this (I’m looking at Ashland, OR), but even more so that someone would make it their personal quest to take advantage of it during what should be a nice family-friendly event.

I understand that some will use the whole “freedom of speech and expression” thing, but that’s no excuse for this blatant stupidity. When did we throw common sense and good taste out the window?

Now, the last thing I have to say about this is that she’s ugly, which no one wants to see in the first place. There is no doubt in my mind about this. And if this statement seems presumptuous, I’m just freely expressing my thoughts.

If you’re going to be a true Non-Conformist, you need to shop at Hot Topic. Not only do you need to shop there, but you will also need to hang out at the local mall regularly while making casual appearances at the Hot Topic. If you do nothing else, this will get you well on your way to being a true punk non-conformist.

Nothing shows your unique personality and flare for individualism than wearing all the same clothes as everyone else who shops at Hot Topic. You wouldn’t want to be associated with the others who choose to support the capitalist stores like the Gap and American Eagle. You’d rather spend your money at Hot Topic, which just happens to run hundreds of stores across the country including in Alaska.

You’ll want to make sure that you wear shirts with bands on them that you don’t even know, like the Ramones. Nothing is more punk than this. Make sure you also buy a lot of their accessories like anarchist patches, wristbands and metal studded belts. How are you going to show your uniqueness without a metal studded belt anyway?

Aside from all this though, you’ll want to complain as much as possible and make fun of all the kids who wear Abercrombie since they all look alike with their conformist clothes. You can’t stand how much money they have, so you spend your equally as affluent parents’ money at Hot Topic so as not to flaunt it. Honestly, who would know that your combat boots cost $150?

Irony – This word is all too often used to describe situations or events that would better be described as coincidental or improbable. If you’re unwilling to stick to the actual definition as follows, it’s probably better you stop using the word.

definition: characterized by often poignant difference or incongruity between what is expected and what actually is.

Peruse – This word is most often used when someone is taking a quick look at or through something or browsing. Unfortunately this is almost the opposite of what the word actually means. The only problem with using this word correctly is that most people won’t really know what you actually meant.

definition: to examine or consider with attention to detail; to read through with thoroughness or care.

Irregardless – Perhaps you’re unsure as to why this word is in this list. The fact that it isn’t even a word allows its inclusion. The use of it continues because people merely use words that they hear others use. All you have to do now is use regardless instead.

definition doesn’t exist

Unique – This word is also used quite carelessly and has therefore lost the full impact that its meaning could have. By combining it with the words more, very, somewhat and others, you lose the absolute nature of the word.

definition: existing as the only one or as the sole example; single; solitary in type or characteristics.

Pristine – So many people use this word when they want to sound more intelligent and use a “bigger” word. It’s often used to describe the condition of something, such as in mint condition. Unfortunately, by trying to sound smarter, you’re actually displaying your ignorance. Does it sound strange that you can’t restore something to a pristine condition?

definition: having its original purity; uncorrupted or unsullied. of or pertaining to the earliest period or state; primitive.

I’ve been meaning to write about this for quite some time now, and it’s finally here. It’s another one of my pet peeves that I see every now and then at work. Let me just make this blanket statement:

“Cell phones have no place in public restroom stalls.”

I don’t really care what the reason or excuse is or may be. I will not retract this statement. I just don’t understand what some people are thinking when they’re talking on their phone while sitting on the porcelain throne. I’m sure the party on the other end of the line is thrilled when they hear the high pressure flushing that goes on in this public place.

There are also sanity concerns with this sort of activity. You just shouldn’t touch your junk and then your phone. I shouldn’t need to say this. Some people however will say that they are the only ones that use their phone so it wouldn’t matter. For everyone else’s sake, I hope they’re correct. But people usually wash their hands after going to the restroom. I don’t believe that they wash their cell phones.

I also don’t believe that anyone is so important, busy, or otherwise that they need to subject others to this sort of behaviour. It was only a few years ago that most people didn’t even have cell phones. It is a wonderful convenience and privilege but it shouldn’t be extended into public stalls. This is all.

Some things in life are extremely irritating. I’ve tried to capture a few of those things here:

1. People not following through on their commitments.

I can’t stand it when people say they’re going to do something and then don’t. It’s not much better when people get around this by being practically non-committal to everything. Do everyone a favor and do what you say you’re going to do.

2. Aggressive and reckless driving.

No one likes being cut off, but I really hate it. You’re not going to get where you’re going much faster by being one or two car lengths further ahead. Also what are you trying to prove by tailgating someone. And finally, pay attention to whether you have your high beams on or not. They’re extremely annoying.

3. People wearing their sunglasses inside.

I’m envious of how incredibly cool people are when they keep their sunglasses on once they’ve come inside. Now that I think of it, I mustn’t forget how glaringly bright it is inside all the time. Also, it’s not any better to take them off and hang them on the back of your collar.

4. People breathing heavily into the telephone receiver.

Not much can be said about this. It’s just annoying.

5. Obscenely loud car stereo systems.

People think they’re so amazingly awesome because they’re driving around in some Cutlass Sierra with an enormous sound system you can hear for blocks. It’s especially comical when the the trunk rattles and is actually louder than the music. Such a sound system doesn’t make you “cool” at all; it only exposes you for what you are: annoying.

If you’ve got something to add, feel free. If you don’t agree with what I’ve listed, let yourself be heard.

One of my biggest pet peeves has to do with people who don’t follow through on their commitments. When someone says they’re going to do something, generally speaking I expect them to do it.

Obviously there are exceptions to this, but I’m talking about a general rule.

When you plan certain aspects of your life around what others say, it’s incredibly irritating when they don’t follow through. It is even more frustrating when because of this, it causes you not to be able to meet your commitments.

Some people have also then become notoriously good at not ever committing to anything. This absolves them from any responsibility and allows them to either do or not do based on a whim.

I would suggest that you don’t allow yourself to fall into either of these categories. It will speak volumes for your character that you not only follow through on your commitments but that you are also not afraid of making commitments.

The bottom line: Do what you say you’re going to do, be able to say what you’re going to do.